Greater Glory

I am currently part of a women's Bible Study at our church and we are doing a study called, "Living Beyond Yourself," by my favorite, Beth Moore.  It is an in depth study of the fruit of the Spirit and I am learning so much.  My heart has been so stretched during this study because along the way, at many different points, I have felt God talking to me about Ashlyn.  Through this study of God's Word, my heart has new insight.  New perspective.

One day at home, I was doing my study to get ready for when we met as a group, and tucked away in part of that days lesson was a section of verses I am sure I have read before, but when I read them this time, with my Ashlyn upstairs in her room sleeping, it caused tears to run down my face.  The verses are John 9: 1 - 3 and this is what they say:

As he (Jesus) went along, he saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"  
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus,"but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

Whoa.  I feel like I can relate to that verse on every level.  First, because it refers to someone who was born with a disability....it was there from the very start.  Also, because there was a time when I questioned what could have caused Ashlyn being born with Down Syndrome.  And in this verse, in this particular circumstance, Jesus sets it all straight for anyone who questions.....it happened so that God's work could be displayed in this person's life.  For everyone around them to see it.  Now, if you read farther you will see that Jesus healed this blind man.  He was given his sight back.  I don't feel that there is anything for Ashlyn to be healed of....she has an extra chromosome that is part of her genetic make up.  That is how God made her.  But, I am convinced that it is so the work of God could be displayed in her life.

In this particular portion of the study, after the reading of that verse, Beth Moore goes on to say that, "consistently through God's Word, illness and infirmity arise as opportunities for God's work" because, "Christ always has glory in mind."  She goes on to say that, "It is consistent with our Savior to go for the greater glory."  It is Scripture and study like this that have had me continually amazed at God's faithfulness to keep  showing me His ways concerning Ashlyn.  To continue to show me that it is all way bigger than me or my understanding.  To show me that it is for greater glory.  To show me that when he created Ashlyn, he had glory in mind.....that her life could be used to show His glory.

A few weeks later, I was blown away again as I felt God was talking to me directly through this study with these words:

"God knows the intense pain of intense love.  If you are a parent, you have already experienced fear, vulnerability and pain.  And the Father hasn't missed one second of your parenthood.  If you have a child who is rejected by his peers, God knows how you feel.  If you have a child who is not beautiful to look upon, He knows how you feel.  If you have a child who has begged you to "fix" something you could not fix, He knows how you feel.  If you have a child who is suffering, He knows how you feel.
Once you've had a true glimpse of God's tender heart, you will begin to understand that if the Savior says "no" to a crying parent, it is because He's saying "yes" to eternal kingdom profit."

Again, whoa.  These words also had the tears rolling down my face.  First, because of how tender the heart of God is....how very understanding He is to each hurt we feel.  Also, because I have been a crying parent and I know I will be again...I don't think you can be a parent without being a crying one at times.  Eighteen months ago, I was a parent crying, "God, please don't let her have Down Syndrome.  Please let them be wrong.  Please don't let this be true."  And, I am starting to see that God said "no" to that because He was saying "yes" to eternal kingdom profit.  And, that is more than enough for me.

Well, God surprised me again when this past week, during the video teaching that goes along with this study, when Beth Moore used families of children with Down Syndrome as an example in her teaching.  She told the story of how she had a friend call and tell her she was expecting her third baby and they just found out the baby would be born with Down Syndrome.  The mother told her that she and her husband were doing pretty well, but that she was worried about their other children....the fact that their lives would be different and how she worried if it would be too much for them (I have been there with those worries.)  Beth Moore said as she was listening to her friend, her mind went immediately to another friend of hers who had a little girl in elementary school with Down Syndrome and all of the joy she brought to her immediate and extended family.  She told her friend on the phone about this family and that, yes, the siblings lives were different in some ways....they did have extra responsibilities.  One of the siblings helped her sister find her seat on the school bus and get to her class okay everyday.  Then she told her friend, those children are definitely not suffering.  She went on to say....."It just may be that those children are the most blessed children on the face of this earth because they learned at an early age what it means to spend yourself on someone else.  At an early age, they had self absorption stamped out of them." 

And, whoa, for a third time.  When I started this study, I had no idea it would speak on such things, but I am not surprised.  God is faithful beyond belief.  And just how it has been speaking to me in these ways, I know God has used it to speak to the other women in ways specific to them, in areas God is at work in their lives. 

Greater glory.....eternal kingdom profit.  I don't want to miss a second of it.