Married to a Pastor

My husband is a pastor and it is a really cool life.  The thing is that I love my husband so much that anything he did would make for a really great life, but Troy was meant to be a pastor, so that is the coolest part about it.  I have known Troy since we were teenagers and from the beginning I knew he had a call on his life to be a pastor.  There are things about his job that make our life unique at times, but I am learning more and more the things that are the most unique about your life are often what mean the most and what shape you the most.

I get a mixture of responses when people find out I am the wife of a pastor.  Here are some that stick in my mind from over time:

*"I thought you had to be old to be a pastor" - This one makes me laugh:)

*"I didn't know pastors were allowed to get married" - I think at the time, in my head I was thinking, "Ummmmm, well, if he was a Catholic priest it would be quite a problem, but the Protestant church is okay with it."

*"So, your husband preaches?"  -  My response, "Yes."  What else can you say?

*"Oh, that is great!  I love my pastor or our pastor and his wife mean so much to us."  - Kind responses from kind people.

*"When your husband counsels people does he tell you what they talk about?"  -  My response, "No, that is all kept in confidence."  To which sometimes I have gotten the response, "Well, doesn't that drive you crazy that he doesn't tell you everything?"  My response, "Not really because if I talked to my pastor or counselor in private, I would want it kept private."

*"I could never do that" or "Better you than me" or "I would not want that life" - In general, these types of responses either make me sad or irritate me.  Most often they come from people who have grown up in church, which is why it is so sad because they have probably at some point seen a pastor and his family treated very badly and they don't want that for themselves (I understand this because I too have seen this happen to pastors).  Or, they have a view of being a pastor's wife that is not the reality of my life - like you have to play the piano, always teach Sunday School, you won't have any friends, you have to wear out of style clothes, your husband will always be at church and will never have time for family, or that people will always criticize your husband making your life miserable. I think the main reason this is not true for me is because of the wonderful church that we are blessed to serve at.  We deeply love the people there and they love us in return....they love our kids and they let us be ourselves....it is such a gift.

The reason it irritates me is that I just don't think it is kind to say to someone that you would not want their life.  Sometimes when people say things like that to me in my head I am thinking of all the reasons I would not want to be them, but that would not be very kind of me to say, would it?  So, I try to just smile and move on.

I think this is on my mind because over the weekend Troy officiated at a wedding of a very sweet couple from our church.  I have seen him do other weddings, but as he was pronouncing them husband and wife I was thinking what a great life this is.  To get to walk with people in this way.  To be with them as they start their married life, walk with them as they bury someone they love, pray with them as they struggle or question, celebrate all the joys that life can bring, and grow in their faith.  And the people of the church do all of these things along with us as well.  Some days when Troy comes home from work I am amazed at all that took place in his day.  Sometimes it is as simple as sermon prep (this would not be easy for me, I am talking about Troy) and administrative types of things and others it is filled with hospital visits and people who need to talk.

I think the reason I love it the most, is that Troy's heart was made to be a pastor.  It truly is a calling and to get to see him fulfill his, there really isn't anything better.  Week after week as I listen to him preach I am thinking about how much he was made for this.  We are completely humbled and very honored that we are allowed the privilege of this life. 

Here is a picture of me and my sweet pastor husband after the wedding on Saturday night

Yes, I am a pastor's wife and I wouldn't trade it, especially because of the pastor I am married to.