Things We Can't See

I have learned so much about the faithfulness and character of God over the past year of my life.  I am so thankful and still really in awe.  Shortly after Ashlyn was born, I began to see little ways in which God already had things and people in place to help us on this journey.  Well, those things have just kept happening, to the point where it is hard to believe that a year ago I had doubts about His sovereignty.  I know it is okay to have those doubts and if you are there right now, that's alright.  There are things that happen that rock our world so much, it is hard not to wonder.  But, if you look and watch for God to work, I bet you won't be there long.  I am not saying the pain will stop immediately, but He seems to have a way of clearing up any doubt on who is in control.

Soon after Ashlyn was born I was contacted by a friend I went to college with.  We were friends on Facebook and so she knew that my daughter was born with Down Syndrome.  She told me about a family friend of hers who also had a daughter with Down Syndrome and asked if I would like for her to contact me through email.  I was still very vulnerable at this point but really did want someone to talk to who knew what I was going through.  I found out this person lived in Kansas City, which I thought was very ironic, since Troy and I lived there for three years and my sister still currently lives there.  Anyway, I soon got an email from Tammy who told me all about her sweet daughter, Lily.  I asked her all sorts of questions and she gave me all sorts of encouragement.  I was even able to meet Tammy and Lily when Troy and I were in Kansas City visiting my sister and we still talk through email.  God knew when I was in college that He would place my friend, Kara, on the same floor as me our freshmen year and that we would have mutual friends all through college.  He knew that my husband and I would live in Kansas City after we were first married and that all that time there was a family living there who we would one day meet years down the road. He knew that one day my sister would live there. It was all connected....people, places and timing....long before we knew.

A little while after that, while I was still in a very vulnerable place, I began my second year at the MOPS group I attend here in Lafayette (I could tell you all about an amazing friendship God had waiting for me there...but that will be another post.)  At one of the first meetings I told the group of women at my table that my daughter was just born with Down Syndrome.  In the next sentence, someone at the table was telling me about a family at her church that just had a little girl with Down Syndrome and that she would give the mother my contact information.  Soon I was talking with Laura who is the mother to beautiful, Anna Joy.  It started with some emails and I found out her Anna was exactly a year older than my Ashlyn.  We soon started meeting at Starbucks, which we still do, and it was an instant connection.  Everything that was said the other one completely understood.  The craziest part is that Laura and her family had just moved back to Lafayette.  God knew....He knew it all.  The people I needed to sit by at MOPS who would know Laura.  The timing of my move to Lafayette and hers.  God knew it all.  He had it all waiting and worked out...every detail.  Laura has been an amazing encouragement to me.  On Ashlyn's first birthday she showed up on my doorstep and gave me the biggest hug and handed me a prayer journal which included a note from her in it.  As I walked back in my house that day, I thought, "Thank you, God.  You are unbelievable.  All along, you knew."

About a month ago I was talking to my sister on the phone and she was telling me about one of our friends from childhood.  And she said, "Shari, you are not going to believe it.  I just found out on Facebook that Amy Copeland just had a little girl born with Down Syndrome."  Amy Copeland, who is now married and has a different last name, was the granddaughter of the pastor at the church I grew up in when I was a little girl.  I hadn't talked to her in years.  I immediately found her on Facebook and we connected again.  Amy did just have her third little girl, Willow, who was born with Down Syndrome.  When we were little and Amy was in town visiting her grandparents, she would come and stay at our house for a night or we would we stay with her.  Amy, my sister and I would laugh and giggle as only little girls can.  We played games and pretend wedding.  I remember all of that.  Here we are all of these years later and both of our girls have Down Syndrome.  God knew when we were little girls, that we would need each other someday.  That we would walk a similar journey.  When He placed her grandfather at our church when I was a little girl, it was all starting to be connected.  And guess where Amy lives....Kansas City!  I will be there this fall and will hopefully get the chance to see Amy again and meet Willow...and I will still be in awe of God's work.

Fast forward to about two weeks ago when Kyla and I were walking down our street.  A few houses down on the opposite side of our road, we see a little girl and her mom outside.  Kyla told me she wanted to meet that girl, so we went over and said hi.  Kyla and the little girl, Emily soon started playing with sidewalk chalk and so the mom and I started talking.  Her name is Nikki and I had never met her before.  We made small talk and discussed all sorts of things.  It came up in the conversation that I had a daughter with Down Syndrome and she told me that one of her really good friends here in Lafayette has a son with Down Syndrome.  She said her friends name is Peggy and that she is the head of a Lafayette area group for parents of kids with Down Syndrome.  She said she would love to get us in contact.  The next day, Nikki, is at my door dropping off Peggy's phone number and some books that Peggy wanted her to give me.  Yesterday I called Peggy and the whole time I was again thinking, "Unbelievable. God, you knew everything I would need."  Peggy and I instantly shared the very common bond of having a child with an extra chromosome.  I have no idea what she looks like or much about her, but in one conversation we were talking about the shock of finding out and the pain that followed.  Her son, Cason, is four and in that conversation Peggy said, "It was so hard at the beginning, but I wouldn't change a thing."  The details that God had in place boggle my mind.  Two years ago when we moved here, Troy and I prayed that God would put us in the right house, right where He wanted us.  Little did I know as we moved in, that right down the street was someone God knew I would need to meet one day.  Unbelievable.

I feel almost ashamed of myself that a year ago I was having doubts about God's sovereignty, but as I look back I can almost feel Him saying, "I know you can't see it now.  But just watch...I am going to show you things that will blow your mind.  I have had it all worked out way before you ever knew."  And, He definitely has done just that. God, in His unbelievable love and mercy, has always had it taken care of.  Every person, detail, place and time....He had it all ready for me to take this journey.  To say I am grateful is an understatement. 

Whatever you are going through today...no matter how confusing, difficult or downright painful....I can promise you God is sovereign over that situation.  There are things going on we just can't see.  He is and has been working it all out....everything you will need.  Sometimes when things are the most unclear, those are the times when we can see God at work the most.  There is a song on the radio that I love right now and one of the lines says, "Life is not a snapshot.  Someday you will see the bigger picture."  What you see right now is not all there is.  There is so much more going on.  God is at work...He always has been.  Trust Him...you really can.