Parenting - The Things that Matter

We are in the season of parenting right now that is very hands on and requires a lot of energy (that may be all seasons of parenting).  It involves a lot of cleaning up after messy hands, changing diapers, playing make believe, reminding to pick up toys, reminding to speak kindly, zipping up coats, finding socks, calming down when crying and the list goes on.  There are days when I can feel like I am just doing menial tasks....the laundry, cleaning bathrooms, sweeping the floor, dinner prep.....it doesn't always feel so glamorous, but I do know there is no other job in all the world I would rather have.  And in the middle of all of it, the day in and day out of parenting, I know it is a huge job.  The responsibility of raising little people who will turn into big people and making sure they are ready.  And not just ready, but ready to live life in a Christ centered way.  It is my biggest prayer for my children, that they would have hearts that love God and desire to follow Him.

And that doesn't just happen.  That takes serious intentionality.  That takes parents who are the real deal and walking the walk themselves.  That takes a lot of prayer. That takes trusting God even when you don't see fruit from your efforts. We know that and we know it is God who is giving us the strength.  And I know we won't always do it all right, but I ask God everyday to help me to do it the best I can.  And that is why when we are in middle of coloring and Kyla says, "Mommy, how many eyes does God have?  How can He see everyone all at once?"  or  "Mommy, does God hear me even when I whisper?".....it is those moments that I know God is giving to me to point her to Him.  Or the moments when I see her showing kindness and I point it out to her.  Or when she is scared about something and we stop and pray.  I know God is using it all.  And I can only imagine all the moments He will give in the years ahead.  I just know of all of the jobs of parenting, pointing my kids to Christ is the biggest one.

I have never sat down and written a list of what I hope the hearts of my children will look like when they are about old enough to leave our house, but this list I found pretty much sums it up.  I read Ann Voskamp's blog very regularly and I loved this recent one she wrote for her son.  Her writing it so beautiful and this particular blog post had the tears flowing down my face for how much this is the prayer for my own children.  Read it here.

I know that everyday these children are in my house, they matter.  All of the moments matter.  It is a big job we have and we want to do it well.  To raise kids that love God and are set apart for Him, I can't think of a bigger job.  I also know that really it is not up to me. This is not all in my hands and that it will be God who moves the heart of my children.  So, whatever season of parenting you may be in.....the baby stage, toddler stage, school days, about to leave for college days....remember it all matters.  Walk the walk and point the way.

While Daddy was gone.....

This past week Troy was in Phoenix for a ministry conference, which meant the girls and I were flying solo.  I am such a baby about him leaving.  Everything is better when daddy is around, but we made it through.  Things got off to a little bit of a rough start at supper the first night Troy was gone.  Ashlyn is getting to be a picky eater, which still surprises me because for months she has eaten just about anything.  All of a sudden she is showing her opinions about what she does and doesn't like.  I, however, am not a "short order cook mom", so whatever I make that night, that is what you get.  I thought spaghetti would be a great way to go, because it usually goes over well.  It is always loved by Kyla, but sometimes Ashlyn isn't feeling it and that night was one of those times.  And that usually leads to Ashlyn throwing food off of her tray.  Not good.

Here is evidence of food on the floor and Ashlyn "thinking" about it, after a stern talk from mommy

Here is the food on the floor along with the bowl after she gave that a toss.  Oh, that led to some alone time for Ashlyn in the time out spot.

 Time out is a new concept for Ashlyn, something we are just now introducing after Ashlyn does something like throw food on the floor.  She does not like it,  This was the first time she stayed in the spot and knew she had to stay there.  She screamed for the whole two minutes.  After I picked her up and we hugged and I showed her the food and told her she could not throw her food, she was hugging the life out of me and then said, "Sissy."  She needed some love from her sister, who was equally troubled that her little sis was in time out.

The next day at lunch, things were a lot better....

After a little snag at the beginning, we got on with our week and played with our princesses,
 

had some bedtime hot chocolate,

and marshmallows,

we watched the snow fall,

and took a picture for Daddy because we knew it wasn't snowing in Phoenix,

we stayed inside while it snowed and did some painting,

Ashlyn loved it,

Kyla's masterpiece,

We missed Daddy like crazy.  Every time I was on the phone with him, Ashlyn wanted to hear his voice on the phone.  Kyla asked about him all the time.  We made it through with lots of hugs and kisses,

and now we are glad to have the man of our life back home. 

Birthday Buddies

In the very early morning of January 10, 2007, I woke up to realize my water had broken and I was in labor with our first baby.  I remember as I started realizing what was happening, one of the first questions I asked Troy was what day it was and if it was his birthday.  Kyla was due to be born on January 24 but decided to come a little early and so on that morning I was trying to figure out what day it was.  Troy looked down at our clock and told me it was January 10....two days before his birthday.  Kyla was born on January 10 and came home from the hospital with us on her daddy's birthday, January 12.  They will always be birthday buddies.  This past weekend we celebrated.

 Birthday buddies ready to play in the snow....part of what comes with a January birthday

Birthday snowman

And a little sled pulling

Kyla at her birthday party 

Time for some cake

With our five year old girl

With all of her cards

 

It is such a joy for me to get to celebrate two of my greatest loves in the month of January......birthday buddies.

Five Years

Five years ago tonight I was in a hospital room in Indianapolis holding my firstborn baby.  It looked like this.....

For as tired as you can be after giving birth, there are details I will always remember.  I remember just staring at her as they were weighing and measuring her.  I just couldn't believe she was actually here.  I remember holding her right after she was born and thinking how beautiful she was and noticing that she had really long eyelashes, just like her daddy.  I remember how desperate her cry sounded and hoping I would be able to calm her down.  I remember loving her so much.  I became a mommy that night and I will forever remember it.  That was five years ago and this is today......

I have been blessed to be Kyla's mama for five years now and it is without a doubt one of the greatest blessings of my life.  I really can't believe she is five.  She brings so much joy to our home.  She has a tender and thoughtful heart.  She can be silly around people she is comfortable with and shy around those she doesn't know as well.  She is very detail oriented and a perfectionist.  She thinks things through.  She loves to read and play with babies and princesses.  She LOVES her little sister.  She includes Ashlyn in everything and treats her with so much love.  We are so thankful for Kyla and all she means to our family.  And because her life is so special to us, I did everything I could on her birthday to let her know how much she is loved.

Birthday balloon waiting for her this morning 

Lunch at Chick Fil A (her favorite)....Daddy met us there to have lunch with us.  Kyla and Ashlyn got some playing in before we ate.

Our surprise for her today was that she got to pick out a fish!!  She was really excited and picked this fish that she named Lily.

 Kyla told me that today is also Cinderella's birthday and she wanted to have a tea party and cake for her. Lots to celebrate today!

I made her favorite dinner for her tonight....spaghetti.  At bedtime I asked her what her favorite things of the day were.  She said picking out a fish and the spaghetti.  Glad I made her some!

 She will have a birthday party on Saturday with her Grandma's, Grandpa's and aunt.  Today was about celebrating her and letting her know she is deeply loved.  Troy and I told her at bedtime tonight that we are so glad that God made her our daughter.  Those words could not be more true. Our prayer is that year after year she will know how loved she is by us and by her Heavenly Father.  Happy 5th Birthday to Kyla Elise

New Year

I have sat down to right a blog post several times in recent days and have had trouble writing it.  I think sometimes the beginning of a new year feels so big, it is hard to know what to say.  When one year ends and another begins I can feel emotional sometimes, in a mostly good way.  It is just really heavy to look back over a whole year and be on the threshold of a new one, not knowing what awaits you.  But the really great thing is to know that at the beginning of 2011 I had no idea what awaited me in the next 365 days, but as it came to a close, I could look back and see all of the joys, sorrows and everything in between and be reminded that God had planned out each second of that year and carried me through it all.

I can say without hesitation that 2009 was the most difficult year of my life to this point.  It was during that year that I felt my whole world had been turned upside down and I was convinced it would never be the same again.  2010 brought a year of extreme growth and stretching for me and for our family.  It was a mixed year.....still full of questions and grieving at times, but also the dawning of a new hope and a new day.  A time of redemption and putting back together broken hearts.  A year of seeing that God is exactly who He says He is and He can do exactly what He says He can do.  2011 has been a year of seeing such beauty come from ashes that sometimes I can't believe how great the joy is.  We had to have the 2009 for the 2011 to be what it has been.   Quite often the deepest sorrow births the greatest joy.

And I say all of that not knowing one bit about what 2012 may hold.  Even as the year has begun, I find myself talking about certain plans or hopes and deep in my heart I know I have to say those things with open hands.  Hands open to receive what God wills.  2009 taught me that.  2009 allowed me to start 2012 knowing that I am not in control and each second I am tempted to believe I am, it doesn't take long for me to remember the truth.  There have been times, still are, where that thought seems scary to me.  But through God's grace, it is becoming freedom for me.  How beautiful it is that God allows the moments and in some cases, the moment, of a year to change your life for all the years ahead.

There are some things I do know as 2012 is starting.  I know that this is the year that my firstborn, Kyla, is going to turn five (next week) and the year she will start kindergarten.  It is happening and my heart is doing its best to get ready.  And I know that this is the year my Ashlyn will turn three and begin preschool.  And my heart is doing its best to get ready for that.  I know that this is the year my husband and I will celebrate ten years of marriage.  Sheer joy runs through me as I type it simply because of how much I love him.  And as 2007 began, I knew I would become a mommy that year, but I didn't know what all of the days of that year would look.  At the beginning of 2009, I knew I would be having another baby, but only God knew how that baby and that year would change the course of all of my other years, all for the better.  He is so good.  And at the beginning of 2002 I knew I was going to become Troy's wife but I didn't know what all of the years in between would look like and here we are about to celebrate ten years of marriage and I am so in love with him I can hardly stand it. That is what I love about new years, looking back and seeing how all of the years come together to bring you to the next.

There is something about a new year starting that causes some fear in me, though.  It is that realization that as the calendar is opened to a new year with blank days in it, we really have no way of knowing what will fill those days.  The fear of not knowing what all will happen this year.   I wish I could say that wasn't true but it is.  Someone I have come to love this past year is Ann Voskamp (if you haven't checked out her blog you really should.....www.aholyexperience.com).  Anyway, the other day on her blog she made the statement that "a woman can know faith in her head and fear in her heart."  The thing about 2009 is that it showed me something you think will never happen can most certainly happen.  It shook me up big time.  It blindsided me because I thought I knew how the year would play out. But the beauty of 2009 is that as I begin 2012 not knowing what the year holds, the faith is getting to my heart.  Less fear and more faith, knowing that whatever disappointments, sorrows or surprises this year holds, God will carry us and use it to transform us for the years ahead.  And that is not just an easy answer, but a faith I seek and pray for God to give me more of everyday.  Ann Voskamp said she may call 2012, "the year of no fear."  I think I may have to steal it for myself.

All I know for sure about 2012 is that God has ordained all of the days of it.  I know He is faithful and good.  That is all I know for sure.  But that is enough for me to welcome 2012 with open hands and receive all He has to give.  Happy New Year.