Spoons and perspective

We have been working with Ashlyn for awhile now on holding and eating with a spoon.  It is definitely one of those things that has had me stressed at moments wondering how hard it will be for her to get it.  There have been plenty of therapy sessions of her screaming while her therapist is trying to help her with a spoon and plenty of mornings at the breakfast table with her screaming while mommy is trying to help her.  At first, I would feel so defeated because I can remember handing Kyla a spoon when she was around 18 months old and pretty soon she had it down.

The really cool thing about Ashlyn and the spoon is that I have seen how God is working in us.  Not too long ago, Ashlyn taking longer to reach a milestone would really bother me (I still have my moments).  In this situation as we are getting farther in this journey I have this peace that I know she will get it and I don't have to push it.  At breakfast for months there has been a spoon involved.  It started out with my hand over her hand to do it, which she would tolerate for a few bites and then want it to end.  Then she would allow it a little longer.  For awhile, she was getting frustrated enough and breakfast was becoming a stress, that the spoon wasn't around.  We just took a break.  That is the cool thing.....the perspective that comes the longer you are on the journey.  The perspective that allows me to not compare Ashlyn to Kyla and to know that Ashlyn will eventually get it.  I don't have to force it or worry that kids her age have already mastered this skill.  Sometimes you just have to put the spoon in the drawer, walk away and let it be for awhile.

Last week I decided to get the spoon back out.  I put a bowl of cereal in front of Ashlyn at breakfast and handed her a spoon just to see what she would do.  What she did is put that baby right down into the bowl and get a little bite of cereal and in a very messy but beautiful fashion, put into her mouth.  I was cheering and then she started clapping and Kyla started clapping......applause at breakfast makes you know you are going to have a good day.  She kept trying and wouldn't always be able to get it, but she wasn't frustrated.  She got the most frustrated when I tried to help her, letting me know she wants to try this solo now.  It is still a very messy process and not quite mastered yet, but she is getting there.

Sheer concentration

This is fun

Makes a good hairbrush

In goes a bite

Little things like this are huge to us.  And not always so much because milestones are being met but more because we see God helping us on this journey.  Something as simple as putting a spoon away for awhile and being at peace with that, is a little miracle for me.  And the joy in it is that I can see that I know Ashlyn.  I always felt like I knew Kyla and what she needed, mostly because it was so textbook I could read about it.  I haven't always felt this with Ashlyn.  I have felt confused, overwhelmed and out of my league.  But I am her mama and sometimes mama's just know you have to put the spoon away for a little bit. We are a team and we are figuring it out together.  Slower paced, not textbook.....but together.  I am so thankful she is my girl.

Here is my beautiful little mess in action: