Thankful

In the days following the birth of Ashlyn, it was the first time in my life I ever questioned the goodness of God.  It was the first time I had to stop and think about it.  It was the first time I had to wrestle with the question of, "If God is good, then why did He allow this to happen?"  Looking back on it, my heart breaks over it.  I wish I could go back in time and just accept it and receive it with a thankful heart.  I guess there are times when it just doesn't come that easy and God understands.  I will say this though, there was a time of questioning and feeling like my world had been turned up side down, but I have learned more about the goodness of God in the last 18 months than I have ever known before.  The question is settled in my heart.....life is hard, but God is good.

During those early days of heartache, I really did know somewhere deep in my heart that God was still good and could be trusted, but I was in a fog and a my heart was having trouble accepting it all.  I remember one night in our family room I was on the computer listening to music and found a song by one of my favorite artists, Nicole Nordeman.  I thought I knew all of her songs so it was weird to me that I had never heard this one.  I was listening to it for the first time and I couldn't believe how much it was for me.  The song is called "You are Good" and the entire song talks about the goodness of God no matter the situation.  I listened to it several times again and there were a couple of lines that I knew I needed to hear right then: "When it's dark and it's cold and I can't feel my soul, you are so good.  When the world has gone gray and the rain's here to stay, you are still good."  It was like a little piece of confirmation and healing for my heart over an issue I was struggling with that very moment.

Here is the song along with pictures of the people I love the most in the world.....Troy, Kyla and Ashlyn.  All daily reminders of God's goodness.


Thankful from Troy on Vimeo.

"With every breath I breathe in, I'll tell you I'm grateful again"......Happy Thanksgiving.