Round Up the Kindergarteners

Last week was a little milestone for us....kindergarten round up.  I wasn't dreading it or feeling that nervous.  I was getting a little emotional as the time got closer.  We pulled up to the elementary school and walked hand in hand into that brand new world with our firstborn daughter.  I love her so much.  She is my heart.

I wasn't sure what to expect from Kyla on that night because she has a shy and timid personality in new situations.  The principal was greeting all the families and children as we walked in and Kyla gave her a quiet "hi."  We went and sat in the school cafeteria with the rest of the parents and soon to be kindergarteners.  They introduced the teachers and told us a little bit of the school schedule.  I knew their would be a bus ride that the kids could go on to see what it was like.  The time came and most of the kids made a bee line to get ready to go on the bus.  Not my shy girl.....she hung onto me, crying.  Told me she didn't want to go on the bus without me.  The rest of the kids were heading out to go and the sweet kindergarten teachers were telling me she didn't have to go.  I told Kyla she didn't have to go on the bus, but that made her cry more.  I knew she was caught between wanting to go and being scared to go.  She finally took the hand of a young student teacher and headed out to the bus.  I was so glad she went because I knew she would love it.  And she did, she later told us it was her favorite part of the night.

Once Kyla was on the bus and I was sitting back next to Troy at our seat in the school cafeteria, the principal went on to tell us about kindergarten....how it isn't how it used to be.  She even used the word "rigorous" more than once.  Telling us that kindergarten is rigorous.  Hmmmmm.  Honestly, she almost had me believing that kindergarten was the step right before leaving for college.  Tough stuff.  There is a half day and full day option for kindergarten.  I had always thought Kyla would go to half day....I am in no rush to get her out of the house.  We got the impression that because kindergarten is "rigorous" that half day is not the best option.  I left feeling more unsure than when I came in.

I talked to my mom the next day and told her all of my feelings.  I told her how emotional I was feeling.  I explained to her how on one hand I am really frustrated that education is getting so competitive that kindergarten is now considered "rigorous" and we need to get our kids out of the house earlier to get them ready.  I told her that on the other hand I know Kyla's temperament and that even more than the education I can see how she might benefit from full day to get comfortable and that by the time first grade comes she won't be as scared of new experiences.  Things like eating in the cafeteria, going to gym....those kinds of things that full day students do.  I knew exactly where my emotions were coming from....I didn't know what the best option was, I just knew that things are going to start to be different and that makes the tears come. 

Here is my sweet, Kyla, feeling more comfortable and happy after her first bus ride and seeing the kindergarten rooms at her soon to be school

I really don't know what option we will pick.  And I know everyone has their own opinions.  In the same conversation about this subject I can have one person say to me, "Don't let anyone tell you what to do about your child's education.  Don't let them push you into anything," and another say, "My kids did full day and it was so good for them."  Everyone parent is different, just like each child is different.  I am praying very hard that God would show us what is best for Kyla. 

Regardless, I am feeling the changes as I process all of this and I think the hardest part for me will be these two girls of mine not being together as much in the day.  I am telling you, the next morning after round up, as I was thinking about, I was grieving it.  The bond these girls share is so special.  They are best friends.  When Kyla is in kindergarten, half day or full day, things will be different and there won't be as much free time and things like.....

 a bath on a random Thursday morning....two sisters having so much fun together

or cuddling together to look at a book

I know those things will still happen, but not how we are used to them now.  There won't be as much of just Mommy, Kyla and Ashlyn all together.  Thinking of us not eating lunch together everyday is one of the hardest things for me.  And I wish I wasn't so sentimental or that I didn't feel things as strongly as I do.  But, in these cases, it tends to be the way I am.  And I know that these sweet years of days at home and the preschool schedule are in some ways about to change.  It is okay.....life is moving along and that means things change.  I know.  I am just starting to feel it.  And I have a feeling that I will feel like the kindergarten days are very sweet days as well.  Really, when God is orchestrating and guiding our lives.....all of the days are sweet ones.  Thankful.  For now, we will enjoy today and trust Him for tomorrow.