Bloom

Last week I posted a link to the video below on Facebook.  It is a video of a trailer for a book written by Kelle Hampton.  I first heard of Kelle Hampton when Ashlyn was still a small baby.  A friend of mine knew the grieving process I was in and shared a link to her blog with me, in which Kelle Hampton had written a blog post about her second daughter just being born with Down Syndrome.  I remember reading that blog post and thinking that literally she had just written everything I was feeling.  It was all exactly the same and she wrote it so beautifully.  I have been reading her blog ever since. 

She has since gotten quite famous in the Down Syndrome community and seems to be getting well known in general.  She is a very gifted writer and beautiful photographer.  She recently wrote a book called, "Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected" and this is the trailer for that book.  Again, these could have just as easily been my same thoughts and feelings, because they were....



They are a few differences between what she shares in her video and what my experience was.  First, I do not have a budding photography career nor do I have Saturday breakfast with friends, although that sounds wonderful.  The main difference is that I did not know that Ashlyn had Down Syndrome as soon as I saw her.  I am realizing that I have never shared much on this blog about my labor and delivery with Ashlyn and I really should because it is quite a story.  I will someday.  I first heard the words Down Syndrome about fifteen minutes after she was delivered and they were spoken by the doctor who was on call and delivered her.  It wasn't until a couple of days later that I began to see glimpses of it myself and even then I didn't want to believe it.  It was a day later that a doctor sat us down and said it plain and simple and showed us on paper in black and white ink a copy of an extra 21st chromosome.  Even then, I didn't want to believe it and was in somewhat of a denial for awhile.  The grieving process had begun in a big way and I found out firsthand that denial is most definitely a part of the grieving process.

All of that is for another post and I will share about the day of her birth (it was wild).  But, for now, all I know is what was shared in that video is so much of what I felt.  Kelle Hampton has not only just written a book but has also been interviewed on CNN and done internet interviews for some big things.  One of the most recent ones she linked to on her blog and I watched it and she mentioned how some of the comments people left were not very kind.  In the particular interview, Kelle Hampton was saying that although Down Syndrome was a shock they are embracing the beauty it brings and are so thankful for their daughter and all she is teaching them.  All things that I also feel.  I looked at some of the comments and one person said something to the effect of, "That is great that you feel that way now, but this is only the tip of the iceberg of the challenges you will face raising a child with Down Syndrome.  You need a dose of reality and it will be coming.  You have no idea how hard it is going to be."

I could tell the comment really bothered Kelle and she talked a little bit about.  The comment really bothered me.  I have no idea where that person was coming from or the personal experiences they have had that caused them to say those things.  I realized it was going to start getting to me if I didn't get control of it.  Because the truth is that sometimes it does hit me that Ashlyn is only two and the challenges that lay ahead for her, we haven't even begun to experience them yet.  I have realized this I have talked with two mothers of Down Syndrome recently who both told me their elementary aged children were not yet potty trained.  Yes, those kinds of conversations can definitely make you realize there are bigger challenges to come.  I know that.  I am aware.  I know it isn't always going to be easy.  I see some of those things now.  But, you know what?  If you would have told me three years ago that I would have a child with Down Syndrome I would have thought I could never handle that.  And here I am.  People can be as negative as they want and life can throw as many curveballs as it wants and the challenges can just keep coming, but if there is anything I have learned in the last three years it is that my God is HUGE!  And it is that and that alone that let me know there is nothing to worry about in our future.  Some people can call that being unrealistic, but I call it faith.  God is so able and He certainly does make the unexpected so very beautiful.