As I am sure it is true with you, we have a little bit of everything going on and I can have many thoughts in my head and emotions in my heart all at one time. Here is a little bit of the everything going on in our world....
Loving Summer
As I am writing this, you can tell a thunderstorm is about to begin (something I love about summer time). We are loving the warm air and all of the fun things that come along with this time of year.....it is made even more special when you see it through the eyes of children.
Running through the fountain at Purdue....both of the girls loved it
Getting in the car just to go get some ice cream
I would not say I have a green thumb by any stretch, but I really love planting flowers and enjoying them all summer. I think this is the summer where things are finally clicking where my flowers are concerned. For the past several years, nearly everything we planted was eaten by bunnies. So help me, I was very close to sitting out on the front porch with some sort of gun just waiting for a bunny to hop by. Well, maybe they can read minds because they have left us alone this year.....so far. And since they have gone to wreak havoc on another families flowers somewhere we are enjoying plants that are actually growing.
The Black Eyed Susan's that I was so excited about and every year the bunnies would nibble them off, well who knew that what started off down by the ground is more like a small tree this year?
Kyla started her second year of swimming lessons this week. Last year she was in the baby pool getting used to the water, this year she is in a bigger pool in the first level of lessons.
Ready to go
Little sister really wants to see what the big kids are doing
Much of the time I don't feel like I know what I am doing
The one comfort I find in the moments where I wonder if I am doing things right as a mom, is that I know I am not the only one who feels this way. This job doesn't come with a manual and each child is different, which leaves room for a lot of doubting on my part.
For instance, I battle constantly with wondering if I am doing enough for Ashlyn. She is doing great, but like it or not, this is still a foreign world to me and a lot of the time I feel like I am stabbing in the dark. Yesterday one of her therapists was trying to get her to hold a crayon and scribble on a paper and all Ashlyn wanted to do was throw the crayon. I have worked with her on crayons and gotten the same reaction. I internally felt helpless and like crying but just asked the therapist, "She seems to have no interest. How much do I force this?" (I wish there was a manual). To which the therapist responded, "Keep working on it for small minutes at a time, she will get more interested over time."
These types of things came completely naturally to Kyla and with Ashlyn they seem very forced....it is a learning curve.
And then there is Kyla who is having fun at swimming lessons but doesn't want to put her head under the water or face in the water. As I sit and watch her in the lessons I internally feel myself wanting to walk into the pool and urge her to please put her head under the water....just to try it. But, I know I can't do that. I already know in my gut as a mom that this is one of those things that over time she will get more comfortable with and I have to just relax. Relax....a good word to remember.
And in the middle of all of the not knowing and wondering if it will all somehow come together, sometimes all you can do is dance. At our house around 3:00 or so in the afternoon when I can feel the pressure building we turn K Love up really loud and dance.....and every time all three of us feel better.
Yesterday we were grooving all around the family room with the words, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord" blaring through our house.
Kyla busting a move
Sisters dancing together....they laugh and Ashlyn waves her arms all around. Stress relief at its finest.
Carpet is gone, hardwood is here
Troy and I have been saving money for awhile to put hardwood floors downstairs in our house. Worth every penny if you ask me. The carpet was stained when we moved into this house and just kept getting worse. My awesome husband and two really kind men from our church who were willing to help in a big way installed the floors over the weekend.
Sister love
For all of the times I worried and cried after Ashlyn was born whether or not these two would be close, that question is definitely getting answered for me. They share a BIG love. Ashlyn adores her big sister and Kyla fiercely protects her little sister. Yesterday we were outside and the girls were just walking up and down the sidewalk leading to our front door. There is a bush with thorns at the end of the sidewalk that Troy had told Kyla not to touch a couple of weeks ago because it might hurt her. Anytime Ashlyn got even kind of close to that bush, Kyla would put her arm around her and say, "Ash, let's go the other way. I don't want you to get hurt." She watches out for her sister like no one else.
I can hear the two of them laughing from another room and it makes my heart so happy. Big time sister love.
Laugh more
I read something from "Jesus Calling" the other day that I keep thinking about it. It said, "
Learn to laugh at yourself more freely. Don't take yourself or your circumstances so seriously. Relax and know that I am God with you. When you desire my will above all else, life becomes much less threatening. Stop trying to monitor my responsibilities - things that are beyond your control. Find freedom by accepting the boundaries of your domain. I rejoice when you trust Me enough to enjoy your life lightheartedly.
I love that and I forget it too often. God is in control, I am not. Enjoy life with a light heart....God is working it all out.
