Troy had to be away today at an annual meeting for pastors. The meeting actually started last night but he drove back last night just so he could be here in the morning to see Ashlyn. He knew he would have to be away all day but just couldn't bare not seeing her on her birthday. When we woke up this morning, we were laying in bed before the girls were awake and talking about all this day means. I had already cried the night before and felt the emotions again as soon as I woke up. Not bad tears, just tears of the anniversary of a life changing day. As we laid in bed we talked about how on the morning of April 30th three years ago we didn't know that we would be meeting our second daughter that day or that later that night we would be huddled together in a little hospital bed, holding onto each other wondering what was going on. As we sat in bed this morning Troy kept saying, "God has been so faithful to us." He has been so faithful. I think that is also a big part of the emotions.....remembering that day three years ago and the intense grief that followed it compared to the joy of today. Remembering that three years ago I was handed something I thought I would never be able to handle compared to the feeling of being so thankful for this precious child given to us. It is a full circle feeling....that is what so much of today was.
Happy Birthday morning to our precious girl
Morning cuddles with the man of her life. The man who had to see her today.
Last night as the emotions of today were beginning to hit me and as I began thinking back to all that April 30th three years ago held, I remembered my lunch plans on April 30, 2009. My friend, Tracy, and I were supposed to get together at Chick Fil A for lunch that day. The only thing was that I was starting to have contractions but nothing too bad at that point. I called her and told her what was going on and we decided I should stay home and rest, having no idea what the next hours of my life held.
Tracy and I met soon after our family moved to Lafayette. We met at a local MOPS group. I decided to go to MOPS to try to meet some moms my age and to help with the lonliness that can come with moving to a brand new town. It just so happened that God had planned for Tracy and I to be assigned to the same table and sit right by each other. We exchanged phone numbers and the next day she called and invited me over to her house for a play date. From the very beginning, it was easy. It was just friendship in its truest form. When Ashlyn was born, we were only about nine months into living here and it felt so out of control for our world to be turned so upside down in a place that still felt new to me. We had so many loving people come visit us and our church family was so gracious to us and held us up. There were many times when I had Troy go visit with people outside of our room just because I was such a mess. I couldn't stop crying. My face was so swollen......a mixture of just giving birth swollen and unstoppable crying swollen. I knew Tracy had tried to call me a couple of times and I never got the chance to call her back in between all of the craziness going on around us. One day during our hospital stay Troy told me that Tracy was calling him to just see how I was and if she could come see me. I immediately said yes....I really wanted her to come. I knew I looked horrible....face all swollen, no makeup, bathrobe wrapped around me but I just needed to see my friend. She had walked through my whole pregnancy with me. As soon as I heard her knock on my door, I opened it and buried my head on her shoulder, sobbing. I remember just blurting out to her, "How could God have let this happen?" She held me and said, "I don't know. But, I think He knew that you and Troy are the perfect parents for her." And we just stood there and hugged as I cried. I had no idea that when I walked into a MOPS group nine months earlier that God was placing in my life a friend that would walk with me through one of my darkest times. Thank you, Tracy....I love you.
So, last night I sent her a text that said, "Hey, remember how on April 30 three years ago we were supposed to meet for lunch at Chick Fil A but couldn't because I was having contractions? Well, do you want to go tomorrow to celebrate Ashlyn's birthday? And, this time I promise there will be no labor pains" :) She texted me back and said of course! So, today we sat at Chick Fil A with our kids, three years later, and a friendship that I am so thankful for.
Happy to be at Chick Fil A for a birthday lunch
Ashlyn and Tracy....Ashlyn adores her
There is just something about looking back that makes you realize how full circle you have come. Today on April 30, even the routine things were magnified as I remembered just how not routine they were three years ago. As we sat at Kyla's gymnastics class tonight I was remembering how at that very time three years ago I was in full on labor, not knowing yet how much my world was about to change. But, today we sat as Kyla tumbled around and I watched Ashlyn sing, run and wave to everyone in sight. The shock wore off, the crying that I thought would never stop did and here we are three years later so thankful for what God has given us.
Me and Ashlyn.....April 30th just before 6:26 p.m., the time she was born
Happy Birthday to our three year old girl.....we will never be the same because of you and that is the best thing that could have ever happened to us.
